one thing about me is that when i see “toxic” behavior – especially coming from my friends – I’m gonna call it out, and I would hope that they would do the same for me. And by toxic, I’m talking about things like racism, homophobia, body shaming, transphobia; stuff like that. ⬇️
⬆️and imma keep it real with you: THERE ARE NO MITIGATING FACTORS! Were you drunk? High? Having a mental breakdown? Those are things that turn your “filter” off. But if you are constantly having to filter out those hateful statements, then the problem isn’t that you weren’t filtering at the time,⬇️
⬆️the problem is that you have that hate deep down in your heart. That’s the problem. No one is perfect and nothing changes over night so take some time and fix yourself. Now why am I bringing all of this up right now? Well a few weeks ago, I called someone out for something hateful that they ⬇️
⬆️said. They sent a wall of text downplaying it, justifying it, and then attacking me for GENTLY calling them out for it. DARVO Deny Attack Reverse victim/offender It was textbook DARVO. I told them my feelings, apologized for making them feel attacked, and told them to take as much time as⬇️
⬆️they needed to think things over and hopefully they would feel like being my friend again and if not then I would respect that. Three weeks go by with zero response from them and then I start getting block notifications that they’re blocking my accounts on here. That hurts, because this person⬇️
⬆️was one of my best friends of all time. I have block notifications turned on here for reasons that make sense given my occupation and other situations, but it also works out well in this scenario, because this person has demonstrated a habit of posting publicly about people that they feel have ⬇️
⬆️slighted them, and I’m no dummy y’all, I was often times skeptical of what they were saying about people after they had blocked them. They’re blocking me little by little on different platforms and have already done some vague-posting about me, twisting facts. No, just because I pointed out a ⬇️
⬆️behavior that you don’t like about yourself doesn’t mean I was “being mean”. Just because you have a condition that MIGHT explain your behavior, does not excuse your behavior. Just because I know you have said condition and didn’t let that give you carte blanche does not mean that I’m against⬇️
⬆️ people with that condition and does not mean that I don’t make accommodations for people with that condition. Posting about it, even in vague was ways, and then talking about “no revenge” and how it doesn’t even bother you… bestie I fear that is contradictory. So I feel that it’s only a ⬇️
⬆️matter of time (if they haven’t already begun) before this person really begins twisting the truth around and slandering my good name. I guess I should unblock all those people in the fandom they convinced me to block just in case they have more info. And I’ll have to wait for my other friends to⬇️
⬆️start telling me when this person is talking shit about me. And when that time comes, as I’ve said, I have the entirety of all of our conversations on every platform archived, so I will have no choice but to correct their misinformation with full context objective truth. And of course sue. ⬇️
⬆️ because my reputation is very important to me. It has a big impact on my professional life and personal life, so yeah I’ll spend thousands on lawsuits to stop this if I need to. If my professional and personal life gets messed up from someone else’s lies – especially professional – that messes⬇️
⬆️with my ability to provide for my family. Dang. That sounds like the last thing someone with any brains would want to do to me. How silly of them. At this point, I’d be content to never hear from this person again, but, unfortunately, they don’t seem content to move on. ⬇️
⬆️oh and also one time they stole one of my memes. That’s kinda fucked up. 🔚
i forgot to mention, the DARVO + isolating is classic narcissistic behavior. Narcissistic behavior indicates the presence of the “wounded inner child”. I’m bringing this up in case the person is still creeping on me and reads this: I really want you to heal. It’s a long arduous journey but it’s ⬇️
⬆️worth it. I would know. And despite the fact that I don’t really like you right now, I still believe in you and know that you can do it. So, in spite of everything, I’m still hoping for all the best for you. (and before anyone jumps down my throat, pointing out narcissistic behavior is not⬇️
⬆️the same thing as calling someone a narcissist or trying to “arm-chair psychiatrist” diagnose someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I would never do that. Anyone can exhibit these types of behavior regardless of whether or not they have NPD. For what it’s worth, I, a lay person, do ⬇️
⬆️ not think that the person I’m talking about has NPD, nor an I qualified to say that they do or do not. 🔚